Bottle Wizard

You are trapped in a glass bottle, in the middle of a - well, it's all quite blurry, actually. But it's green, and bird calls reverberate through the glass. You can safely assume it is a forest. [[Investigate sense of self]] [[Attack Glass with spell]] [[Call for help]] [[Cry]] [[Peer through glass]]

Whizz! Pwah! Shoof! You shoot out sparkly little clouds in quick succession. They bounce off the glass - And skim back around into you. You fall to the glass floor, skin buzzing and black spots in your eyes. [[Cry]] [[Call for help]]

"CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME?" "HEEEEELP" "HEEEEEEEEEELP" Your voice is going hoarse. [[Yell some more]] [[Cry]]

Ehuuuuuhh Ehuhuhuhuhuuuuhhhh You're alone. So alone. [[Attack Glass with spell]] [[Call for help]] [[Lie down]]

"HEEEE- e- eeLLP" Your voice is cracking "SOMEBODY PLE--" Coughs wrack your body. [[Lie down]] [[Summon a potion for your throat]] [[Cry]]

It's all been a bit much today, hasn't it? You fall asleep. You awaken to a gentle pinging noise. Above you, a fly is making it's way around the bottle surface. [[Attack fly with spell]] [["Do you //mind?//"]] [["You wouldn't happen to have opposable thumbs, would you?"]]

You reach deep into your hat. The same old feeling of furry shmorgles brushing against your hand. Summoning has always been your happy place. The image of //Dr Thwacks Special Tawberry Flavoured Throat Elixir// comes to you easily. Memories rush in of the summer you got Shwooping cough and came home from university to let your mother take care of you. You try not to fight them. You feel the bottle in your hand and pull it out, roughly wiping the tears from your eyes. Dammit, Anana flavour. You drink it quickly. That's a bit better. Your magic is getting a tad depleted though. [[Lie down]]

You are a small wizard, 5 inches tall. Your name is Wizzio, as was your mothers, and your grandfather before her. You are alone. Due to circumstances you refuse to analyse right now, you are trapped in a bottle. Your possessions include the clothes on your back and the pointy hat on your head. [[Is it a pretty hat?]] [[Cry]] [[Attack Glass with spell]] [[Call for help]]

It is. Blue, with little flowers embroidered in sparkly thread. Your mum made it for you. You can't even get yourself out a normal glass bottle. You don't deserve this hat. You'll never make her proud. [[Cry]]

The closer you get, the clearer some close objects are. Leaning against the curved side of the bottle begins to tip it. You take another step against the wall, pushing it further. You begin to run. Like a hamster on a wheel. [[Stop, to preserve dignity]] [[Continue running]]

You stop, and look about you. The world looks pretty much the same. Blurry and green. [[Cry]] [[Attack Glass with spell]] [[Call for help]] [[Investigate sense of self]]

This is the first cardio you've done in all your 400 years. You aren't sure if your vision is blurring, or if everything is just, well, blurry. A dark spot appears in the center of your vision. You're beginning to think maybe you could do with a rest when- The bottle comes to a slamming stop, wacking right against the aforementioned dark spot. [[Did it make a crack?]]

No. Of course not. The looming dark spot begins to move. Not promising behaviour for a looming shape. Lighter spots - eyes- are now blurrily visible. [[Make eye contact]] [[Cower like the weak little hamster you are]]

You look up into those large threatening eyes. Your legs shake from the exercise. Obviously. Definitely not fear. A voice rings out, light and piercing, and the glass reverberation knocks you off your feet. "<i> look at the mess you've just made! Flattened a lovely patch of vegetation! What do you have to say for yourself? </i>" [["whoops"]] [["that wasn't me"]] [["Sorry..."]]

"<i> look at the mess you've just made! Flattened a lovely patch of vegetation! What do you have to say for yourself? </i>" You don't look up. "Excuse me? I'm talking here!" [[//Squeak squeak//]]

The fly is a fly. It does not have opposable thumbs, nor the intellect to understand your question. [[Attack fly with spell]] [[Shout at fly]]

The fly, indeed, does not mind. It continues to tinker along the glass, uninterested in and likely uncomprehending of your offence. [[Attack fly with spell]]

The spell lands underneath the fly, your aim as perfect as ever. The fly looks down at you with a twitching, empty gaze. The spell curves around the edges of the glass, reflected back towards you. You fall to the floor, spots in your vision. The sound of a gasp, to your left. [[Look to the gasp]] [[//Did the fly go though?//]]

You stomp your feet. You wave your arms. You say some uncouth things you heard on tv once. If your mother could see you now, she would not be proud. You don't feel so good. Dr. Thwack advised you last week to keep your blood pressure down. You don't know how you landed on the floor. You are dying, alone, and before your time. You'll never get to make amends with Geoff. You'll never live in that mountain teapot you bookmarked on Zoompla. You'll never experience the simple comfort of self-acceptance. [[Do some magic and sort yourself out. Duh.]] [[Die.]]

You restore some strength, gasping at the unpleasant sensation of magic in your veins. There's a shushing noise to your left. [[Gasp extra loud, pretending you didn't hear]] [[Look for source of shushing]]

Geoff did always say you were one dramatic son of a gun. So here lies Wizzio. He was not happy. He was hard on himself, he pushed people away. He hoarded things, always focused on the promise of tomorrow, the foolish idea that he could do everything, be everything. He didn't smell the flowers. But he was loved. He was on his way. He will be missed.

Your eyes meet those of a large frog. A very large Frog. It couldn't be, it shouldn't be - but it certainly does bring to mind the //Insanus Ranae// of the genus //Wizard Munching Motherfroggers// Your mouth feels rather dry. [[Gulp]]

You're a petty one, ey? Surprised you didn't let yourself die just for the attention. The shushing sound repeats, louder this time. [[Sorry if my //near death experience// is an inconvenience for you]]

You keep your nose in the air, and only look to your left as you finish, to punctuate your disgust. Your eyes meet those of a large frog. A very large Frog. It couldn't be, it shouldn't be - but it certainly does bring to mind the //Insanus Ranae// of the genus //Wizard Munching Motherfroggers// [[Yelp involuntarily]]

The frog crushes the bottle under its foot, unbothered by the spray of glass, and your first gulp of fresh air is crushed from your lungs as its toes wrap around your throat. The spinning in your head recedes and you find yourself help up by the frogs foot dangling over a minefield of broken glass. "-terfering with nature, scaring away my subject, and with an attitude like //that?//" She looks back at you. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself?" You clear your throat. "I-" "Save it!" She cries, tossing you into her mouth. From one prison to another. Slimy, wet, dark. [[Attempt magic]] [[Await death]]

The frogs eyes simmer with a hatred you've never quite felt. Even from Geoff, after you said - well. There's other things to worry about right now. The frogs eyes flick after the fly. "You disgust me," she says. And hops away. You try the deep breaths Dr Thwack advised. They put things in perspective, make you feel small, foolish. But they work. Alone again, naturally. [[Lie down again]] [[Peer through glass]]

I mean, it's gotten you this far. Can't knock it. You are just getting comfortable on the cold curved glass, when hopping noises begin to rapidly return. [[Sit up]] [[Nothing gets between me and a snooze]]

Ah. There she is. Death herself. The //Insanus Ranae// is returning with considerable speed, and an unhappy look on her face. [[Yelp]]

You try to shoot out a little whizz, but it appears the theories are true. //Insanus Ranae// has an anti magic field inside their mouth. It's unlikely you'll live long enough to share this discovery with your naturalist peers. [[Await death]]

Death is rather slow coming, actually. It reminds you of a Shmorden poem you studied once, but it doesn't feel very apt right now. You shiver in the slime, chucked around mercilessly. Is she hopping somewhere? She hasn't even swallowed you yet and she's on her way? This cruel creature clearly has no respect for intelligent lifeforms. [[Await death some more]]

This really doesn't line up with the Wizarding Code of Alertness and Self Advancement, but sure, go off i guess. Off to sleep. And miss your life. Every passing moment is a lost opportunity. Oh merlin, there are wizards a hundred years older than you already succeeding in their fields. And what are you doing? Sleeping in a bottle? Clearly you were praised too much as a child. It's all your teachers fault. They should have seen your talents and pushed you harder! Not acted like you were already good enough! You're not good enough! You'll never be good enough! Strangely, you just can't seem to drift off. You rise, ready to take a look at whatever's going to imprison or kill you next. Ah. It's the frog again. Wonderful. [[Greet with a friendly wave.]] [[Cower in fear]]

The first text assigned to you at //Wizarding University for Excellent Wizards and Sometimes Witches// was Herr Gordon Shmorden's //"I Welcome Death with Open Arms"//, the best preserved work from before the fall of //Die Wäscheklammer//. Unfortunately, Shmorden was only in his early 300's when he wrote it and evidently was going through something of an edgy phase. Still, the words feel particularly apt as you smile happily at the Wizarding worlds natural enemy, the looming, unmistakable //Insanus Ranae//. She comes to a towering skidding stop, meets your gaze with a cold one of her own. [[Smile, steadfast. You welcome death with open arms, you welcome it without a drop of sweat on your brow, you welcome it like a cool wind on a hot day, you welcome it like you will never welcome your mother to your bedroom - seriously, get out mum, I'm writing in here-]] [[Cower in fear]]

"Look at that guilty look on your face! What do you have to say for yourself?" "S-sorry for scaring away your lunch?" "My lunch? Oh heavens no! I was studying that little fellow for my almanac. She waves something in the air, but you can't make it out through the glass." [["S-sorry - I didn't mean to cause you any trouble."<- "I didn't mean to cause you trouble."]]

The frog maintains her cold stare... Until she doesn't. "Darn it, what a charming smile. I'm trying to stay mad at you, y'know! I was studying that lovely specimen you just scared off." She pulls a notebook out of her skin pocket. Wizards for centuries have been trying to work out what those pockets are for, but never gotten close enough to find out. Will you live long enough to share the discovery? This could change everything for you... You snap out of your thoughts as she holds up a page of her notebook for you, impossible to make out through the glass. "See! I only had a little more rendering to do on the back legs and it would have been ready to go straight in the almanac. Now I'm going to be hopping around all week looking for another." [[Terribly sorry about that.]] [[If I could make it up to you, I would in a heartbeat.]]

There might be something in this saliva stuff, you're starting to feel a bit more relaxed. The chucking slows down and finally stops. You're going to be one big bruise tomorrow. If there is a tomorrow. The mouth opens, you are dumped unceremoniously on to a rather nice rug. You sink your fingers in. Ohh. That's lovely. When was the last time you enjoyed such a simple sensation? Nights at the university, buttocks gone butter cold from your hard dorm stool. Why didn't you bother to transfigure something a bit nicer? Or start a fire? Read something a bit less dry... A throaty sound above you. You look up. Ah yes, your frog! What a curious creature. And you've got her entire attention! [[Smile.]] [[Giggle.]] [[Point finger. "//I don't like you very much//"]] [["You got me out the bottle!"]]

You squeak as she comes to a stop, and she looks down with simmering eyes. "Look at that guilty look on your face! Well? What do you have to say for yourself?" [["S-sorry - I didn't mean to cause you any trouble."]] [[I need some help.]]

She peers closer into the bottle. "You're a wizard, aren't you." Her eye presses against the glass. "You could summon a bug just like it for me!" [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!]]

"I never meant to cause any trouble, I promise. Please, let me out of this bottle. I can't do anything for you, but I will be so so thankful." She tilts her head to the side. "I think there is something you could do for me, actually..." [[OH, no! I can't grant wishes!]]

She smiles back. [["You got me out the bottle!"]] [[Sink fingers into lovely rug.]]

She tilts her head to the side. "What's so funny? You caused me a lot of trouble you know!" She pulls her notebook out her skin pocket. What a funny thing to have. A pocket in your skin. And to use it to put notebooks in too! What a funny thing... [[Giggle some more.]] [[Giggle "Sorry!"]]

You make your harsh statement, flopped over the floor, covered in goo, struggling to keep a smile off your face. She tilts her head to the side. "Are you... //drunk?//... Well. Same goes to you, bucko. That was a very nice specimen you scared off earlier!" She pulls a notebook out of her skin pocket. [["Sorry!"]]

"You got me out the bottle!" You flop happily back into your puddle of spit. "Nice froggy," you giggle. She tilts her head to the side. "That's quite a change in tone. You caused me a lot of trouble you know!" She pulls a notebook out her skin pocket. You know you should be paying attention to that for some reason, but you struggle to concentrate. [[Sink fingers into lovely rug.]] [["Sorry!"]]

So soft and nice. You could just.... drift... off... [[Have a cozy little nap.]] [["Mmmmmmm, soft."]]

"You don't sound sorry!" she grumbles. "Did the hopping scramble your brains or something? Anyway." She flips through some pages of the notebook and holds up a rather amateur drawing of a bug. [["ooooooooooh. Did //you// draw that?"]] [[Cry inexplicably]]

"I did! And i was nearly done rendering the back leg - " she gestures to, in your mind, the best part of the drawing- "when you scared the little fellow off! What do you have to say for yourself?" [["Mmmm... I like that bit, it's not overworked like the rest."]] [["Ooops... it was disrespecting my bottle though"]]

You gurgle, not sure where this is coming from. Till you remember the first time you snuck out with Geoff. His drunken hand waving in the sky above you, pointing at stars you couldn't pick out. He drew the constellation on your arm. You put a protection spell on it every night for weeks, trying to stop it washing off. [["I'm so SORRY"]]

Frog looks taken aback. "Well, I mean, don't cry about it sweetie- I was just -" You wail. "Not //you// - Geoff! He'll never forgive me. And now I'm trapped in this-" You look around you, and back up at Frog. "You got me out the bottle." Frog looks down at you, confused. "That disgusting little contraption? That was so //unnatural//, I -" She sees you wriggling on the rug, wiping off the saliva. "Are you quite alright, sweetheart?" [[Nod]] [[Shake head]]

You stop, nod, and resume wiggling again. She picks you up and dries you off with a towel. A sudden melancholy hits you. "Is something bothering you?" She asks gently. [["Geoff?.."<-"Me?"]]

She picks you up gently in her soft hands and wraps you in a fluffy towel. Your hat isn't on your head. "Why don't you tell me more about Geoff, sweetheart?" [["My hat..."]] An awareness of all the wrong you've ever done begins to return to you. [["Geoff?.."]]

Frog frowns. "Overworked? I'd like to see you do better! My almanac is going to be the best there is on crunchy and salty bugs." What? "Crunchy and salty aren't genuses. And I highly doubt you'll out-do Papilioneus's //Et mineralibus dives, rigidas muscas//"

What a healing nap. A nap like no other. The kind of nap that reminds you why you want to be alive. You wake up in a soft warm bed. [[Panic]] [[Ruminate on life choices]]

Frog picks you up gently and wraps you in a fluffy towel. [[Have a cozy little nap.]]

"Disrespecting your - that disgusting thing? Good! And I'm glad I crushed it, too. Something like that doesn't belong in nature." "Mmmmmm..." [[Have a cozy little nap.]]

"It's just there, sweetheart." She picks it up and places it in your arms. [[Have a cozy little nap.]]

She nods encouragingly. "He was so lovely..." Geoff's hurt face flashes behind your eyelids. "He'll never love me aga-in" Your voice cracks. [[Wracking sobs]] [[Continue exposition]]

You sit up, destroying your pocket of warmth, and scramble out of bed, looking for your hat. [["My hat, where's my hat?"]] [["Where are you, wretch?"]] [[Silently creep to door]]

How did you end up here. You're so short tempered. If you'd listened to Goeff - or your mother - or someone! Anyone! They've all got their lives more together than you. But instead you attempted the absence of a decision. Tried to stay in the same place. Keep everything just where you wanted it. You daydreamed all day, looking at homes on Zoompla, making promises you couldn't keep. Now you've lost everyone you love. And you're prisoner to a frog. [[Lonely crying]] [[Silently creep to door]] [["My hat, where's my hat?"]]

Frog comes through the door. "Under the bed, sweetheart. I washed all the saliva off. Strange fashion, but I won't question your culture." She smiles and picks you up. You sit on the edge of her table, and she serves you some aromatic soup in a thimble. [["Is this vegetarian?"]]

You call out, and she immediately appears around the door. "What did you just say?" She's rather a lot bigger than you remember. [[I - uh- I was a bit disoriented, sorry.]] [[Screw you! And screw your lousy bed!]]

Before you make it, Frog's smiling face pokes around the corner. "There you are! Did you sleep well?" [[It was lovely, thank you.]]

"Oh dear" Frog says. "You better get some rest..." [[Have a cozy little nap.]]

"He wanted to move to the country side, get some shmorgles. I wanted to stay at the university, advance my career..." You gulp. "He- he was right. He said 'a naturalist shouldn't be cooped up in stone walls'. But my mother. She was-" You gulp. "And I went to see her for Wäschefeier..." The light above you seems bright, harsh. Why are you telling her this? [["Why am I telling you this?"]] [["May I leave? Please?"]]

She strokes your hair. "Because you've had a tough day, sweetheart." How about a nice sleep? [["I'd like to leave, actually."]] [[Have a cozy little nap.]]

"I don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart, you've had a tough day..." You know you should argue, but you are feeling very sleepy. And this towel is so nice and fluffy. [[Have a cozy little nap.]]

"That's alright sweetheart. Did you have a good sleep?" [[It was lovely, thank you.]] [[I'm looking for my hat...]]

She frowns at you. "Well, you know what happens to bad wizards." She reaches over, and lifts you by the neck of your cloak. She pulls a bottle from the shelf. [["No! Please! Not another bottle!"]]

You are trapped in a bottle once again, this time on a shelf. "Now think about what you did. I'll be back later." [[Break glass with spell.]] [[Ruminate on personality defects.]]

Well, what a surprise. The magic bounces back at you and knocks you down. With black spots in your eyes, you feel a shadow falling over you. "Oh no, what have you done now?" That darn frogs darn concerned voice. [["I'm not going to change my mind."]]

You weren't always so quick to anger. What's gotten into you lately? Your mother would just tell you to eat more greens, but that's all you've had lately. Maybe it's protein then. Self-diagnosis is rarely productive. [[Look for hat.]]

She smiles and picks you up, takes you to the kitchen. You sit on the edge of her table, and she serves you some aromatic soup in a thimble. [["Is this vegetarian?"]]

"Under the bed, sweetheart. I washed all the saliva off for you." Frog smiles and picks you up, takes you to the kitchen. You sit on the edge of her table, and she serves you some aromatic soup in a thimble. [["Is this vegetarian?"]]

"Oh! Sorry, no. I have some broccoli in my garden, would that do?" [["Don't trouble yourself"]] [["That would be wonderful! I'm famished."]]

She shrugs and takes the thimble over to the sink. She hops back to take a seat on the nearest chair. Your head spins with vertigo looking out over the edge of the table. "Well, while we're here..." She begins. "I was thinking. If you appreciate everything I've done for you... and I think you do." She looks up, meets your gaze. You nod, uncertain. "I'd like to ask a small favour." She smiles. Oh dear. There's not much you can do for a giant frog. "Remember the fly I told you about? That I was drawing before you scared it off?" You nod. "Do you think you could summon it for me? I'd really like to finish those back legs. You seem like a capable fellow." No. Absolutely not. The wizarding code is very clear about this. And about accepting help in general. You've been lax enough, you can't start going around giving wishes. [["I'm sorry but I can't grant wishes."<-"I can't, sorry."]] [[How about I help you look for another of the same species?]]

She cooks up some broccoli. Delicious. This iron rich food is going to fix all your problems and personality defects. [["Thank you."]]

"No, sweetheart. I don't think you should." [[Have a cozy little nap.]]

There it is! Under the bed. Why did you panic rather than just looking for it? And now you're trapped in a bottle without your hat. It should be impossible. But what other option do you have? [[Focus on hat]]

"Glad to be of service" she smiles nervously, and hops to take a seat at the nearest chair. Your head spins with vertigo looking out over the edge of the table. "Well, while we're here..." She begins. "I was thinking. If you appreciate everythign I've done for you... and I think you do." She looks up, meets your gaze. You nod, uncertain. "I'd like to ask a small favour." She smiles. Oh dear. There's not much you can do for a giant frog. "Remember the bug I told you about? That I was drawing before you scared it off?" You nod. "Do you think you could summon it for me? I'd really like to finish those back legs. You seem like a capable fellow." No. Absolutely not. The wizarding code is very clear about this. And about accepting help in general. You've been lax enough, you can't start going around giving wishes. [["I'm sorry but I can't grant wishes."<-"I can't, sorry."]] [[How about I help you look for another of the same species?]]

"I don't think you'd be of much use, sweetheart. You're too small to keep up, and you're more of a city boy, aren't you?" [["I'm a trained naturalist!"]] [["I'm sorry but I can't grant wishes."]]

"You don't seem terribly sorry." [["I've had a hard day"]]

Where did that posh, effusive voice just come from? How does your mother even recognise you when you visit her in old backwater Witchwick these days... The frog doesn't notice either way. "That's very sweet - actually, you're a wizard, aren't you." She leans in, her eye pressed against the glass. "You could summon a bug just like it for me!" [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!]]

"Great, so a quick summoning should be a snap!" She smiles imploringly. You sigh. [["I'm sorry but I can't grant wishes."]]

"What do you mean? You're a wizard!" "It's against the Wizard's Code of Alertness and Self Advancement. We can't go around getting indebted and advancing everyone else, or we'd never have gotten anywhere." "Ridiculous! Everybody needs a little help sometimes. I don't care about codes. I want my motherfrogging fly." She slams her froggy fist down. [["I just can't, I'm sorry."]]

Asking the important questions. The fly gave you a long, unimpressed look whilst you were too incapacited to see it. If only it knew the sizzling hunk of game meat it could have been if this glass wasn't in your way. Except you're vegetarian. But it doesn't need to know that. At the sound of the gasp, however, it looks over, eyes widening and flits away. [[Look to the gasp]]

She gives you a long look. "This is really how you're gonna play it?" You stare back, reinforced by 40 years of university drilling. "I cannot grant you this wish." She pulls a bottle out of her skin pocket. [["Not the bottle! Please!"]] [["So do you just... keep stuff in there?"]]

"I'm sorry it has to be like this, sweetheart." She reaches out. [[Escape!]] [[Accept your fate.]]

She looks up at you, and back at her pocket. "Yes. What else would I do?" "Some people think you've got poison in there. Or children." "Children? Don't make me sick!" She laughs. Reaches out. [[Escape!]] [[Accept your fate.]]

You scramble to get away, but she grabs you easily. Humiliating. [[Accept your fate.<-You are lifted.]]

She picks you and drops you in the bottle. The familiar ear popping sensation of a lid closing on you. You don't even have your hat on this time. [["Didn't you say bottles are unnatural?"]] [["I'm not going to change my mind."]] [[Break glass with spell]]

They are. That's why they're in my home, not rolling about in the forest. [[Break glass with spell]] [[Ok. I'll summon it. But it won't be easy.]]

She stares, unimpressed. [[Break glass with spell]]

Well, what a surprise. The magic bounces back at you and knocks you down. With black spots in your eyes, you feel a shadow falling over you. "Oh no, what have you done now?" That damned frogs voice. It wasn't even a good attempt, with your hat nearly out of range. How embarrassing. "Leave me alone. You don't care about me." "I do care, I do sweetheart. But I care about the almanac more. It's going to help a lot of frogs." "Help them what? Kill more wizards? You don't care! No one cares!" Sobbing on the floor of your second bottle of the day, you truly know what rock bottom looks like. Looking up, you see a bit of hurt on her face. [["S- sorry."]] [["DIE FROG SCUM"]]

She doesn't look convinced. [[Ok. I'll summon it. But it won't be easy.]]

What is wrong with you? Honestly. One boy breaks your heart and you think you can just start screaming at innocent savages? She doesn't understand the code. Of course she doesn't! She's just a random frog! Calm the heck down. [[I MEAN IT! DIE!!!]] [["S- sorry."]]

Dr Thwack told you to keep your blood pressure down. You don't know how you landed on the floor. You are dying, before your time, under the unloving eyes of a stranger. You'll never get to make amends with Geoff. You'll never live in that mountain teapot you bookmarked on Zoompla. You'll never experience the simple comfort of self-acceptance. [[Do some magic and sort yourself out. Duh!]] [[Die.]]

Faintly, you hear "What have you done to yourself now, sweetheart?" You gasp for breath, the unpleasant sensation of magic running through your veins. You've definitely exhausted your core for the time being. Nothing like a near death experience to make you reevaluate priorities. [[Ok. I'll summon it. But it won't be easy.]] [[You've nearly killed me, isn't that enough? I can't help you!]]

She claps her hands together, "Yay!" "But not right now. I need to rest." She nods seriously. "I'll leave you to it then." [[Settle in for some cold hard napping.]] [[Can I have a blanket?]]

She stares, unimpressed, unblinking. [[stare back.]] [[Ok. I'll summon it. But it won't be easy.]]

The kind of sleep one can expect on the hard curved base of a bottle. You wake with a painful crick in your neck. Head tilted to one side, you look sit up to find Frog resting on her arms, having a nap of her own. [[Attempt to break glass with spell]] [[Shout to wake her up]]

"Is this a trick? No. I don't think I should open the bottle. Sorry. Sleep tight." [[Settle in for some cold hard napping.]]

After all you've been through, did you really think this was a good idea? [[Die]]

You call out, hoarsely. Perhaps you are not quite up to full strength. She sits up. "Good morning sweetheart. Ready to summon up that crunchy fly?" "I could do with some broccoli first. And I need my hat." "Oh no dear, I won't open the bottle." "I can't do any magic in here, it'll just bounce back onto me!" "You're a smart little fellow, I'm sure you'll figure it out." [[Have a think.]] [["You're crazy! I can't do it!]]

Here lies Wizzio. He was not happy. He was hard on himself, he pushed people away. He hoarded things, always focused on the promise of tomorrow, the foolish idea that he could do everything, be everything. He didn't smell the flowers. But he was loved. He was on his way. He will be missed.

First you focus on your hat. The image is clear in your mind. As clear as those youthful memories of your mother sewing it. [[Cry for her]] [[Focus]] [[How can I betray this motherfrogger?]]

She shrugs and goes off to do her frog things. Guess there's nothing else for it. [[Have a think.]]

"Don't even ask! I can't do it! I won't!" She stares down, unblinking. [[But now you bring it up, there is a favour you could do for //me//]] [[Oh alright, I'll help you out...]] [[NEVER! I live by a code! Stop asking!]]

She reaches over, popping the bottle lid off in a quick movement, tipping you into her other hand. She holds you in front of her face. "Sure, what can I do for you?" You look between her and the bottle. Well, that was easy. "You know what, never mind. I'll just be on my way..." "Oh no you don't!" She tosses you in the air and catches you in her mouth. [[Await death]]

"Great!" She opens the bottle and tips you out unceremoniously. You're free! Free! Haha! "Wow! Beautiful!" She calls out. You open your eyes, finding yourself a foot off the ground, mid pirhouette. Whoops. You fall. She catches you. How sweet! [["I have to focus"]] [[Attempt to escape]]

She continues to stare. "What code?" "The Wizards' Code of Alertness and Self-Advancement. It's very serious." "Sounds silly. Everyone needs help sometimes." [[Oh alright, I'll help you out...]]

She worked so hard to raise a strong child. You feel so weak. Pull yourself together. [[Focus]]

Ahh, the hat. So pretty. Geoff always admired it. You imagined someday asking your mother to make another for him. Or her teaching you to do it. A true intimate gesture. Hat. Flowers. Hat. Flowers. Mother. Geoff. Hat. You open your eyes. The hat is in front of you. Amazing! Bringing a magical object through a glass barrier! ...And no one was here to see it. You sigh, pick your hat up. Hug it close. [[Let's try this.]]

It's clear. You have to get out the bottle first. [[Focus]]

You take off your hat, and push your hand in. Living creatures are difficult. You reach deep into your hat. The same old feeling of furry shmorgles brushing against your hand. Summoning has always been your happy place. You think of the fly you saw. You've always had a visual memory. The sight of it's front leg markings. The picture Frog showed you. It had vacant eyes. Like yours, when you looked in the mirror after the fight with Geoff. Focus! You see the fly. The twitchy look before it flew away. You don't feel anything. But what would you feel? [[Soft, downy hairs of the body]] [[Bristling tough feelers.]] [[Eurgh! Gross.]]

You dash into the grass. This is most cardio you've ever done. Her hopping chase shakes the ground. You can't keep this up. [[Give up]] [[Dive into rabbit hole]]

A curling feeling in your chest, your eyes hot but no liquid escapes. Frog appears around the door. "Oh sweetie, what's wrong?" She lifts and carries you to the kitchen and serves you some soup in a thimble. [["Is this vegetarian?"]]

So perhaps if you create some kind of containment field, you should be able to protect yourself from any magical bounceback. You focus. There's a lot of focusing in magic. Harder when your boyfriend hates you and your mother says she doesn't recognise you anymore. Focus! DEADEND[[Containment. You are accustomed to all kinds of institutions in your life, places which break the world into codes and routines. Use this as the basis of your containment field.]] [[Containment, like your being contains all the complex disparate parts of yourself, all the different you's that exist for all the different people in your life. All pulled together by a confusing set of core values.]] DEADEND[[Containment, like a bottle that contains a wizard. Keep it simple.]]

This containment field feels heavy, you can almost hear it. But it's definitely solid, as long as you don't throw anything too weird at it. [[Throw something weird at it, because you love danger.]] [[Summon fly now.]] [[Summon blanket, have another nap.]] [[Transport broccoli from garden.]]

You've put a piece of yourself into this containment field, and it is all the stronger for it. But you risk being hurt if something should pierce it. [[Summon fly straight away.]] [[Summon blanket, have another nap]] [[Transport broccoli from garden]]

Not a particularly special containment field, but appropriate for the purpose.

You don't love danger. Stay in character dude. You spit on the field. It gets a tiny bit smaller.

You pick up your hat. There's a tired buzzing in your mind. Living creatures are difficult. You reach deep into your hat. The same old feeling of furry shmorgles brushing against your hand. Summoning has always been your happy place. You try to see the fly. It was just... a fly? You fight your tired brain but nothing comes to you. You don't feel anything. Ugh how are you supposed to do this unrested? You take your hand out. [[Summon blanket, have another nap]] [[Transport broccoli from garden]]

How refreshing. [[Summon fly.]]

It's uncooked, and taking up half the bottle. Plus it broke your containment field. You sure you want to eat it raw? [[b r o c c o l i]] [[Summon fly.<- Nah... let's just .... summon the fly... ]]

Living creatures are difficult. You reach deep into your hat. The same old feeling of furry shmorgles brushing against your hand. Summoning has always been your happy place. You think of the fly you saw. You've always had a visual memory. The sight of it's front leg markings. The picture Frog showed you. It had vacant eyes. Like yours, when you looked in the mirror after the fight with Geoff. Focus! You see the fly. The twitchy look before it flew away. You don't feel anything. But what would you feel? [[Soft, downy hairs of the body.]] [[Bristling tough feelers]] [[Eurgh! Gross!]]

Contained magic is still dangerous, it's good that you'll have someone there in case it goes wrong.

Nope that's not it. You feel nothing, and pull your hand out. [[Summon fly.<-Try again]]

No, that's not it. You don't feel anything. Better start over. You remove your hand and take a deep breath. [[Transport broccoli from garden]] [[Summon fly.]]

That's right! You found the feeling! The disgusting, bristling thing comes flapping out of your hat. Ew. How will it ever feel clean again? And now you're trapped in a bottle, //with a fly//. [[Call for Frog.]]

She comes hopping through the door, face mask still unremoved. She stops dead at the sight of the fly. Screams. [[Scream back]] [[Smile back]]

Yum... grainy... [[Summon fly.]]

You're both screaming. She looks happy? You think? This is not good for your blood pressure. You stop screaming. She ends her scream in a happy shriek, and picks up the bottle, seemingly unaware she is hopping up and down. You and the fly are being chucked around rather a lot. It's actually quite nice bouncing against your own containment field. You fall into the sensation for a while. The lid opens with a happy pop. She's about to dip her hand in! [["No! The containment field!"]]

Too late. Her hand pierces the field and you feel your it like a rock in the stomach. You go into a deep dark space. There's a voice, far away. You could talk back if you wanted to. It seems like unnecessary effort. It all seems like unnecessary effort. Why did you put so much of yourself into a containment field? [[You give everything you have, all the time, to achieve a meaningless aspiration, until there's nothing left to live with]] [[No thinking. The only way out is through.]]

That's probably true. What does it matter. You're swimming in the dark. You don't have a body. You can be anything, anywhere. Isn't that what you always wanted? [[Mountaintop Teapot home with three Shmorgles and a perfect love]] [[Renowned Naturalist and Dean of the //Wizarding University for Excellent Wizards and Sometimes Witches//]]

You swim in the darkness, simultaneously fully aware of your physical form, and completely unfeeling of it. You think of the hard stool in your dorm room. The park on a rare evening off, ground still warm from the suns heat. The smell of your mothers cooking. She always uses too much Moregano. [[He's still mad at you...<-Swim to the surface]] [[Stay here]]

The sun is rising, warm light filtering through onto your vintage wire framed bed. Your biggest shmorgle, shmorsen, snoring in that huffing shmorgley way at your feet. He looks like he's having a pleasant dream, full of frishbee and ear scratches. You couldn't bear to move, and it's good that you don't need to for a few hours at least. But where's Geoff? Is he getting firewood? Something's wrong. [[He's still mad at you...]]

Large stone office, accolades along the walls, ornately carved wooden chair. It's cold. Perhaps... lonely. [[Stay here]] [[He's still mad at you...<-There's things I have to fix...]]

You are at the bottom of a very deep well. [[You give everything you have, all the time, to achieve a meaningless aspiration, until there's nothing left to live with<-Think]] [[He's still mad at you...<-Swim to the surface]] [[Never return]]

It's safe down here. There are no questions. No regets. Eventually you forget about your old life. Goodbye, Wizzio.

You open your eyes. You meet those of a large, concerned frog. You aren't in a glass bottle anymore. "I'm so sorry! Did I do that?" "You - ugh, it doesn't matter." You pull yourself into a sitting permission, a sickening pull on your abdominals. You might recognise the feeling if you'd ever done a sit-up in your life. [[Can i go?]] [[Have you finished your drawing yet?]]

"Of course! In quite a hurry, aren't you?" [["I have to get back to the city..."]] [[Return to civilisation<- "Yep. Better go."]]

I have! What do you think? She holds up her notebook. It's a heavy handed mess. No match for Papilioneus's carefully considered lines. But it has heart. [[Good job.]]

She beams. "Thank you! Is there anything I can help you with?" [["I have to get back to the city..."]] [["I'll make my own way"]]

"It's a only a few hops off, I don't mind taking you. Thanks again!" [[Return to civilisation]]

"That's alright. Thanks again for the help! I owe you one." Wizards don't trade favours, but it's no use telling her that. [[Return to civilisation]]

You go back to the university. Geoff has moved all his stuff out. You can still fix this. It's all gonna be ok.

She licks her eyeball. [[Ok. I'll summon it. But it won't be easy.]]

Focus. Focus. Focus. You tried this on the previous bottle, with no success. This bottle is of a lesser caliber though. Focus Focus [[Focus harder]] [[Break glass with spell.]]

This isn't working. Dammit! You open your eyes, giving up. You swallow. Your ears pop. You look up. There's no lid. [[Escape Frog's home]]

You levitate out of the bottle, out the window. It's almost to easy. You're only a few hops away from the city. And you didn't have to muddy your wizard pride! What a beautiful day to be alive.

She picks up the jar and pops open the lid - [["No! The containment field!"]]

The frog catches you. "Haha! Not letting you go this time!" She tosses you in her mouth. [[Attempt magic]] [[Await death]]

It works! Soon the hopping sounds are far gone. You wander, confused for hours. Is the city this direction? Or that? Finally the stars come out, and you know the way. You make it back to your dorm, dirty, exhausted. All of Geoff's stuff is gone. You're alone, but you're alive.

Nope. You feel nothing inside. [["I have to focus"<-Try again]]

Nope. [["I have to focus"<-Try again]]

That's the feeling! Disgusting! The fly quickly flaps out of the hat. "Amazing!" gasps the frog. She quickly starts drawing the fly as it flits away. You wander off, looking for a way back to city. A few minutes later, hopping sounds grow closer. You look for cover, but find none. "There you are! Why'd you walk off? I wanted to thank you!" [[That's alright, if you could just point me in the direction of the city, I'll be grand.]]

"Oh... I thought I could make you a meal... But I'm happy to give you a lift if you're in a hurry." [[A meal would be lovely]] [[A lift would be wonderful!]] [[I'll make my own way, thank you]]

You ride on her back to her cabin and have a lovely thimble of broccoli soup. You tell her about Geoff and your mother. She gives you warm hearted advice. You arrive back at your dorm that evening. Geoff's things are all gone. You know how to fix this.

Turns out you're only a few hops from home. She drops you off and you walk up to your dorm room. Geoff's things are all gone. How are you going to fix this?

You wander for hours, till the stars come out and you reorient yourself. You arrive back at your dorm. Geoff's things are all gone. You don't have the tools to fix this.

"How so? Something to do with this disgusting contraption?" She asks, poking at the bottle. You look at your glass walls, your glass floor. Is this a time for pride? [["It's not so bad"]] [["Yes! It's horrible! Let me out!!"]]

"It looks cold" [["It is"]] [["So I'll summon a blanket!"]]

"Huh. So you'd like a favour? I can think of something you could do for me in return..." [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!<- "I don't grant wishes!"]]

"And dry," she continues, pitying look on her face. [["So I'll summon a blanket!"<-"So I'll summon a refreshing cool drink!"]] [["Wizards don't need water."]] [["It is..."]]

"Summon?" She tilts her head to the side. "That gives me an idea..." [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!]] [[What idea?]]

"You can summon the fly for me and I'll finish my drawing! I'd do anything for you in return - I make a mean soup!" [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!]]

This is entirely a lie, and thinking of how ashamed your mother would be makes your eyes hot and your throat tight. [["It is..."<-"I've had a hard day"]]

Tears well up in your eyes. "Oh no dear... It really has been hard, hasn't it - how about I take you back to mine for a nice thimble of soup?" she, gently picking up the bottle. [[Tearfully respond "That would be lovely"]] [[No thank you, just letting me out the bottle would be more than enough.]]

She opens and tips you out the bottle - fresh air at last! And puts you on her back. [[Jump off]] [[Go with her]]

"Refusing my hospitality? I don't think so." She crushes the bottle with her powerful legs and dangles you above the minefield of broken glass. You have just a moment to regret your poor manners before she's chucked you in her mouth. [[Await death]] [[Attempt magic]]

You were a very small wizard on a very large frog. You break your neck and don't even have a moment to reflect on all the things you'll never do.

She serves you soup in a thimble. [["Is this vegetarian?"]]

"Are you... pretending to be a hamster? I eat hamsters, you know." [[Continue pretending to be hamster]] [["What? I'm not pretending to be a hamster."]]

She opens the bottle. "Guess I'll just have to... eat you... then..." She dangles you above her mouth. [["Don't eat me! Don't eat meeeeee!!!"]] [[squeak squeak]]

She doesn't look convinced. "Uhuh. Well. Since you're clearly a //wizard//, maybe you can help with the inconvenience you caused scaring off my subject earlier" [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!]] [["What inconvenience?"]]

She rolls her eyes. It's horrifying. How do they go that far back. "You scared off the fly! I was drawing it for my compendium! What are you doing in that gross contraption, anyway." [["Oh, y'know, just hanging out. Catching some waves."]] [["Yes! It's horrible! Let me out!!"<-""I'm trapped, it's horrible! Let me out!]]

She tilts her head to the side. "I guess I'll just... let you be then. Unless you'd like to do me a favour." [[Let me be!]] [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!]] [[Oh alright, I'll help you out...]]

She hops off. You're alone. A wizard can live a long time on nothing but a hat. Maybe some day, someone else will come, and maybe they'll be a philanthropist, or maybe you'll strike a deal. You have a long time to dream about that day.

"There we are, some sensible behaviour. Now stop struggling and look me in the eye when I'm talking." She waits until you comply. "You caused me a lot of trouble today!" "What trouble?" She rolls her eyes. It's unsettling. "The fly! I was drawing it for my compendium! And you're going to help me get it back." "Go on fly hunt?" "Hah! You'd be useless, city boy. No. You're going to summon it." [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!]] [[Oh alright, I'll help you out...]]

She drops you in her mouth and closes it. [[Await death]] [[Attempt magic]] [[Continue being hamster]]

Really? Really really? [[squeeeeeeaky squeak]] [[Await death]] [[Attempt magic]]

You believe yourself a hamster so thoroughly, you actually become one. From there the inside of a frogs mouth becomes quite the frightening place. You are fluffy, confused, drenched in saliva. The frog spits you out. "EW! You turned yourself into a hamster? What the hell??" You understand none of these words. You are a frightened little hamster. She hops off. You are alone. You wander through the grass, wishing you had a hamster friend. No one ever finds out what happened to Wizzio, but he is well missed at the university, and by his mother, and even by Geoff, who tries to only think well of his old love. It's a good thing none of them know what really happened.

"Whoops? How's this for whoops!" She stomps her incredibly powerful leg through the bottle, tosses you in the air and catches you in her mouth. [[Await death]] [[Attempt magic]]

She gives you a long, penetrating stare. You think of how ashamed your mother would be right now. [["It is..."<-"I'm sorry... it's been a hard day.."]]

She leans in close to see the sincerity on your face. "Someone raised you right, huh?" She says. "Well, I can think of a way you could make it up to me. You're a wizard, right?" [[Me? A wizard? Hahahahhahhahahahahhahahahahahahhaha]] [[OH, no! Sorry! I can't grant wishes!]]

She shrugs. "I guess I'll be off then." [[Oh alright, I'll help you out...]] [[

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You put your hand in your hat. You close your eyes. You think about the fly. It's coarse, nasty hairs... You start to feel something ! - but you can't hold back a powerful yawn. [[Transport broccoli from garden.]] [[Summon blanket, have another nap.]]

Ahh. How refreshing. [[Transport broccoli from garden.]] [[Summon fly]]

Only a single floret makes it through the field, which is perfect serving for you. But how are you going to wash it? [[Summon water]]

You balance your hat between your knees and cup your hands inside. Focus comes easily and soon your hands are overflowing and your hat is generating more by itself. You wash the broccoli and get the floor soaked at the same time. Summoning water is a form of wizarding meditation, and it's certainly had a restorative effect on you now. [[eat broccoli]] [[magical cooking?]]

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Bad idea! You've turned the bottle into a sauna. The pressure is building. The air is squeezed out of your lungs... [[pop!]]

The lid came off! You could leave if you wanted to. [[Leave]] [[Summon fly anyway]]

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You're such a generous person! Well, no need for the containment field now. [[Close field]] [[Summon fly first]]

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Let it all go. Relax from your toes, through and up to the top of your head. You are free. The field is closed. [[Summon fly~]]

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Living creatures are difficult. You reach deep into your hat. The same old feeling of furry shmorgles brushing against your hand. Summoning has always been your happy place. You think of the fly you saw. You've always had a visual memory. The sight of it's front leg markings. The picture Frog showed you. It had vacant eyes. Like yours, when you looked in the mirror after the fight with Geoff. Focus! You see the fly. The twitchy look before it flew away. You feel those gross hairs, eurgh. [[Stroke them. Accept them.]] [[Yank hand out]]

Eeeeeeeewwwww. The fly hops out and rubs against your face. Your whole body will never be clean again. This thing eats poop! And now it's fluttering out the bottle. [[Call frog]]

Your hand comes out, closely followed by a big, ugly, dumb fly. The wings though... they look like the rainbow shimmering centre of a bubble wand. Full of shiny, round promise. [[Wow]]

She hops in, face mask on. She screams. [[Scream too]] [[Climb out bottle]]

You're both screaming. She looks happy? You think? This is not good for your blood pressure. You stop screaming. She ends her scream in a happy shriek, and picks up the bottle, seemingly unaware she is hopping up and down. You and the fly are being chucked around rather a lot. It's not very nice. She pops the lid, and tips you and the fly out. Freedom! [["Bye!"]]

Frog doesn't even notice, she's already sketching away happily. [[Watch from windowsill]] [[Leave silently]]

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You can see the city in the distance from her window, and you levitate down and walk home. There's a strange bittersweet feeling in your chest. You did some wonderful magic today, and survived an encounter with //Insanus Ranae//. And no one will ever know. You did it just for you. It makes you think... [[I can achieve anything!]] [[What do I really want...]]

You rush home to study some more, reinvigorated towards your goals. You arrive at your dorm to find all of Geoff's stuff is gone. [[Get working!]]

All those nights studying - why? Because you love magic? You do love magic. But does that mean you have to be the best in the world at it? [[I want to make my mother proud, show her how much I appreciate everything she did for me.]] [[I could make the world a better place]]

It's like she says, the outside world is evil and i have to keep my head in books and prioritise my goals over relationships and happiness. Yay.

Like Smirnov the Creator of the Great Elixirs, you could be another university-grown genius, huddled away in the laboratory coming up with spells to help the rest of the wizarding world better understand and enjoy their lives. You'd be the best Naturalist the University has seen, with your natural talent for summoning, and all the reading you've done on the creatures of the forests. And now you've even met one of the most infamous creatures of them all! Few of the previous Naturalists have first hand experience... Which is strange, actually. Insanus Ranae was definitely as they described in appearance, but her voice wasn't multi-layered, her temperament was certainly unstable, but not quite as bloodthirsty as Malgerous the Multidextrous wrote, based on an impressive list of secondary sources. What else in the University library needs amended?

You write a paper on your experience with //Insanus Ranae//. No one would take you seriously if you published it now, but the practice is informative. Some day, you'll tell the world.. [[Insanus Ranae isn't that dangerous]] [[Her saliva is one hell of a trip!]] [[They're crazy! You can't trust them!]]

She's a sweetheart, even if her methods are a bit scary. Maybe there are other misunderstood creatures. Maybe the university doesn't have everything worked out. Some of your conversations with Geoff seem to make more sense all of a sudden. What would he think of this adventure?

The physical experiences are still overwhelming in your memory, after a lifetime of routine, hard stools. You think of that soft carpet, how much you wanted to sink your hands into it... There's only one other time you felt that kind of contentment. Will you ever again?

Well, everyone knows that. But you'll be the first to share a personal experience. You're going to be very successful. You'll stay in the university, now a professor with his own office. An office that keeps getting bigger and bigger. And you'll stay the same. Small. Alone.

But who to call? [[Mum]] [[Geoff]] [[Professor Blimbap]] [[Aunt August]]

You hold the opening of your hat to your mouth. "Mum?" //Ring ring// //Ring ring// //Ring ring// //Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep// //You've reached Wizzio the Watchful's hat, please leave a message after the beep// Ah. She's probably out gardening and left her hat behind. Even if she's mad, she wouldn't dodge your calls. Right?

You hold your hat to your mouth. Your throat feels tight. You can't do it.

//ring ring// "Hello?" [[This is Wizzio, I have a quick hypothetical]] [[I'm sorry I didn't submit my //Escaping from Small Containers// essay this morning]]

You speak into your hat, "Aunt August?" //Ring ring// //Ring ring// //Ring ring// "Yes dear?" [[I'm in a spot of trouble]] [[How are you?]]

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"Bye sweetheart" she says, waving a hand dismissively, in rapture of the summoned fly. [[Leave silently]]

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